Random Blabbering

Latest thing on my mind has been the economy and how it has effected everyone around me. There are some who have been humbled beyond recognition- they have lost everything. I work with companies who were thriving in 2007 and this year are closing shop and selling off all that they have. This isn't because they lack the experience or skills. This isn't because they have a bad business plan.... it is simply the economy. I meet people who are unable to get loans to move forward in business and others who simply are hunkering down and counting down the seconds it will take for this dreary wind to blow through. I myself have been effected by this market. I have the stress showing on my face now and my normal sense of humor seems to be hindered. It is almost embarrassing to talk about how bad things have been... and looking forward not knowing what bills I will be able to pay. It's not what I expected would ever happen to me. I have always been a smart and hard worker. I think overall this economic situation has been good for all of us in some ways. We appreciate what we have- and we realize now that we are breakable. The ones who I have met who seem to be weathering this storm the best, are the ones who are diversified. They have not put all their eggs in one basket so to speak and they have skills and talents that go from one end of the business spectrum to the other. Another group of sustainable businesses have been the ones who thrive on such poor conditions like emergency food storage companies. Their numbers have been soaring in 2008. The harder times get the more "smart" people get with their money. Not to mention colleges who are seeing everyone in fear come knocking at their doors to pay for a little more education that could make the slight difference between getting the job or being passed over. I have an inner fight with myself right now.... what do I do? Do I stay in the job I love dearly and get paid nothing and take up a night job- waiting tables, working retail until my commissions start coming back into my bank account? Or do I throw in the towel, run for the hills and try to find an employer who will have total control over my life for eight hours a day- pay me as little as possible and still enjoy the satisfaction at looking at their watch to see if I took a long lunch break. This is my inner turmoil. I look at my list of bills - just to live, and see that my choices are slim. As time moves on and the deal that looked like it was going to close does not.... I feel the knot well up in my stomach as my face gets hot and my eyes blur - my choices are no longer as broad as I thought they were a few years ago.